Someone has blundered! And, for once, wasn't me...sorta. Stupid psychology essay has to be rewritten though he's nice enough to allow me and everyone one else in the class (all six of us) rewrite the essay for a better grade. I managed to finish most of it but I really need to finish it tomorrow and turn it in.

Urgh, I hate looking at it and it makes me all angry and sad and stuff.

On a lighter note, my bro came back from his first orchestra trip! ~wipes imaginary tear from eyes~ Oh, they grow up so fast. Hehehe. It's so unfair they got to NYC when we went to Canada of all places. Urgh. Neways, usually I always get him a turtle thing when I come back from my trips. Now being the gift receiver I got...lots of candy and a I <3 NY t-shirt.

...

SUGAR!!! ~laughs maniacally~

I got my loaner set bogu!! It's all not shiny and new! And it's actually slightly too small, the do is. But still...I got bogu...and now will shall be hit rather than just hitting... And it was also the first time when my feet nearly turned purple and I lost all feeling of feet sitting in seiza too!

Um yeah, I got back from Eastern like ten minutes ago. I so thought we would be done by 10PM but I guess not. Heh, whoops? But it was so much fun! I mean, I'm used to being the only girl in a group of martial art guys though this time around, at least they are mostly around my age. >.< And they are friendlier and happier! And the all the sensei are not nearly as scary as Saito-sensei is.

Andand...I thought one the EMU sensei's looked familiar! Turns out he was actually at the same Great Lakes judo competition with me a couple years ago. Of course, didn't fight him...andand he's so very awesome and we kept talking and like he's a Lit major and we were talking about Dumas, poetry, and all this English stuff and stuff. Also got to talk and get to know some of the other duudes in our club that I haven't gotten a chance to...and this is the first time I've been called a "tiny Asian girl." Because...duude, I'm five six and I have a slightly bigger frame than most Asians girls. But I guess compared to guys I am...and heh.

So very awesome! YEESH! ~ish less coherent than usual~

Oh, and my Psych exam got pushed to Thurs! It can't get any better!!! That means I can sleep tonight! ~collapses~

~slaps cheeks~ Alright! Faito fireclaw! Faito Fighto! One more week left! You need to finish these essays. Alright, tentative schedule of things-to-do this week. For tonight, I need to finish my Psych 280 paper! At this rate, I'm going to be working straight through the night. Don't know if I'm going to make it, but I have to! Second chance! Have to take it!

Tuesday:
Psych 120 final/photovoice project (finish/look over it)
Psych 120 self-assessment essay
Study for Psych 280 final exam
Call Vicki cancel Weds meeting
Eastern, 6-10PM ish? I would totally skip this if I wasn't getting my borrowed bogu which I really need. South U, Espresso Royale (urgh I'm going to collapse during practice because I'm so going to be exhausted by then)

Wednesdays:
Finish English 125 final paper by 4/5, go to office hours Just go to Sweetland.
Finish Psych 120 papers if not done.
Crazy Japanese study
Crazy Psych study

Thursday:
Psych exam 8-10
Last psych 120 paper.
Crazy Japanese study
Work more on English 125 paper?

Friday:
Japanese exam 10:30-12:30
PSYCH 280 PAPER!!!!
English paper finished and done, not going to deal with it on weekend. Turn in Monday.

And in light of this stuff, I want to finish D10 and throw it up before the this Sunday as this stupid fic hits its two year mark and shows how slow of a writer fireclaw is....worked two years on a mere ten chapters and then hate it to pieces and want to make a rewrite. Urgh. On the bright side, I did finish my edit of this week's music drabble thing though, once again, it totally delineate from the song...urgh, totally own tempo... ~slaps cheeks~ Stay awake! Finish essay!

One gone. Two remaining. I suppose it's odd, really, considering we never really were close. Got along just fine, but there was always an impenetrable bubble around us, not hard, but still there, soft, but still there. You could enter, permeate it, make polite conversation, invite to eat dinner, but upon entering there was always this feeling of being far too self-aware which could never be shaken. By the time school started all three of us fell into a pattern. Silence, our room was always silence, each of us facing our laptops--two Macs and Limi Dell--my back to theirs. The silence wasn't bad, it was comfortable but, at the same time, never quite comfortable. Does that make sense?

Yesterday, mentioned in passing, "Oh, I'm leaving tomorrow." Lucky lady, finishing so early. In this way, the school year went by so quickly.

And now she's gone, without a word, without a goodbye. All her stuff, her blankets, her jacket, her carpet, her shampoo. A third of the room is empty. Empty. Gone. In a way, so very fitting. It wasn't like our worlds often collided. I will probably never run into her again and if I do there will only be a passing, polite "hello."

It still feels weird, the room feels far lonelier than before. I don't really want to turn around and see the empty desk. I don't want to go back to the bedroom and see the empty bed. I will be working outside more often now.

Three strangers sharing a room. Our spaces were ours. No lines drawn, but like the bubble, they were not often entered. One gone. Two remaining.

Goodbye roommate, I didn't know you well.

Urgh, why are some people so stupid? I wasn't looking forward to English class because we were going to go watch some stupid war movie and I usually find those movies pointless. However, I would go watch five hours worth of them just to escape what happened in today's session.

I mean, seriously people, you're in college now. And like you're supposed to be kinda smart and kinda hardworking if you can get into UMich you know--it's not like you're in some community college and stuff but seriously...urgh. Listening to people whine and complain about not being able to write 7 page essay for an hour an a half is not my idea of being productive or a particularly engaging class time. It's your own freaking fault if you box yourself into some paltry subject matter. We can have outside sources--you can delineate from the prompt. There's so much freaking freedom that you could write twenty pages worth on any of the issues raised. I mean, seriously, I can't believe this girl was complaining that she couldn't find enough resources on women and war. Plus like all these issues could easily be fixed during GSI office hours or you can go to Sweetland--there are so many possibilities open. Don't moan about your own issues and waste everyone's freaking time! I already printed out this one girl's essay who was complaining about subject matter and...seriously...she had like huge six paragraph long block quotes which were in dire need to be addressed in itself but like, in five minutes me and this other guy gave her enough ideas to write another ten pages...I mean just suck it up and do the work. If you used half that energy to find out ways to complain about a 7-9 page paper as you were trying to think of a decent subject to write about or doing the research then you wouldn't have this problem.

This is something I expected out of my loser sociology class from senior year, not from a second semester English class. Urgh, grow up people.

Excuse me while I go bang my head against that wall going "idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot idiot idiot" many many times.

Urgh. Idiot! Idiot! IDIOT! Serves you right, stupidhead. ....idiot!

~sighs~ Whatever. Two papers down, one that shows my stupid ignorance and my stupid stupidness. One last one to go. I got two hours to do it now...and maybe two-four mores hours depending on how the project thing goes.

~jokes~ At this rate, I'm going to drive myself insane.

T______T IDIOT!!! Well, at least it was English, I was doing kinda well butbut...urgh I want to delete it because it's just, just... ~weeps~ WHY!!! WHYY!!!!

I would ask if anything more could go wrong but that I would be just welcoming more idiocy, anguish, pain, and just overall terribleness from self. Come on, three more weeks. Don't screw yourself up too much. Oh fireclaw, what am I going to do with you?

I can't get through Michael Herr's Dispatches. This is like the tenth time I tried since Monday trying to read this darn thing and every single time the words fail to keep my attention and I keep losing focus. I mean, it's not like I have that bad of an attention span, it's just...

argh! I'm so unbelievably sick of all these stupid war-oriented readings. War, war, war, it's all I've been writing about save my stupid psych papers. I don't want to read about them anymore or write about them. I didn't sign up for this class to do war! I wanted a study of the rhetoric and how it was used to express civil dissent! T__T I think I ended up liking Vonnegut, just because I totally agree with his POV even if he's a little out there even for me. Seriously, like he said, there's nothing intelligent to say about any of this. Dispatches just bores me to death. The writing is so...off-putting. Urgh...10 pages down, 100 to go. ~slaps self~ Focus fireclaw!

Small group was pretty silly. Me and Amanda ended up doing a passage together. And like when Vicki and Grace were doing their bit and making all these bad analogies, Amanda was all like, "that's it! The only analogies that are allowed to be made should come from this side!" <3333 That and we were making weird "whale" noises together because we finished early and were just goofing off.

As for today, how seriously tiring. ~sighs~ A step forward from my state of in between-ness. A large one. But I don't know what it is. hmm. I wonder...is it a step foward or a step back? And if it was, have I taken two steps forward, or rather, only gone back? And...maybe Steinbeck got it wrong. Perhaps I have gone two steps back...

Went to see a presentation/question and answer section featuring the amazingly awesome Dame Evelyn Glennie. I...wow. That was ridiculously sweet.

Like I went because I needed something to write about in my Psych seminar and we're talking about in class, but...that was just purely awesomeness. Like, I'm no musician and I know next to nothing about percussion but the way she played and how she talked about hearing not with your ears, but body was, just, wow. Never mind the fact that she's profoundly deaf so its obvious that she would have to experience music a differently from most people, but--DUUDE I didn't know you could do that with just a snare drum. At the end, I ended up walking behind a bunch of percussion majors and they were sitting farther away from me...but apparently, at the end, she broke the "face" of the drum at the end of the piece she played. Hehe. Well, listening to their insights was pretty interesting as well.

>.< That was so cool. ~continues to babble~ And her Scottish accent was sweet!!

Video found via youtube:



The guitarist in the video, Fred Frith, is also pretty awesome too. In the film we watched, he was doing all these things I didn't know you could do with a guitar. Speaking of which, both of them were using string bows on the weirdest things. I was shocked because you get it drilled "don't touch the hair on the bow! RAWR!" the very moment you pick up a string instrument that you end up treating the bow delicately and...and...Frith was using it on wires...DUSTY WIRES and VENTS in that sugar factory shown in the video. Oh yeah, Glennie used the bow on like a bunch of different percussion instruments too. It was quite amazing.

Classes all seem pretty good this semester. I'm somewhat disappointed by my Psych Seminar: Creative Work and Social Action because it seems more discussion and observation based than it is an exploration of different creative mediums that have been used effectively over the years. Prof lied in the course guide.X__X But the cool thing is that the girl from kendo is also in the class who I haven't seen since the first practice because she stopped going and everyone else in the class seem really fun. (self note: exact dif between actually creative "work" as opposed "art" and the certain boundaries of def. What constitutes as "social action?" as result of said work/art. Try Sontag?)

And my Social Psych GSI seems actually decent. Unlike that sad excuse of one I had last semester. Dunno if I like my English class. It's GSI-taught and he has this kinda aura--atmosphere--that made me instantly dislike him. Though it's probably more my instinctive prejudice than it is something that stems from experience although generally my gut feelings are correct. Hmm, maybe part of it has to do with his abuse of big words that I don't think he has earned the right to do. Screw that, no one in this century should be using that kind've syntax. >.< But I don't really want to switch out because I like my schedule. For Jap, might end up switching to a different section that's at the same time because all my friends want to transfer. @__@ Plus...Suzuki-sensei!!! Shoot, have to ask him to write my stupid scholarship rec. Stupid renewals ~kicks~

Sakura-chan came over for a little while. Was fun. We went to this shady-looking Chinese restaurant for dinner on Tues that surprisingly turned out to be more than decent. And my fortune cookie...hit on me, I think. Was just...odd. For Weds lunch, ate at this overally expensive cafe. BBQ chicken sandwich had waay too many onions in it.

YESH! After dealing with all the strife surrounding CW and prof disliking my style of writing, it's nice change of pace to not totally fail a paper. Sure it was essay writing, but still...hitting top percentile in my Asian History class is very nice. I mean, my GSI actually wrote "Superb!" ~grins and thinks of a certain silver-eyed lion king~

The fact that the class is 50% midterm, 50% final makes it pretty good too. So yeah. ~pleased~ WHOOOO!

Now onto my stupid psychology paper!

So if I fail tomorrow's Psych exam it will be "totally" worth it.

Spent the last three hours decorating our hallway. Seeing how there is only three rooms and only too help decorate the huuge hallway...yeah. It's pretty. There a fake cobwebs, spiders and orange, white, black balloons and everything! I wish I had a camera so I could take pictures of it. But that's alright...just steal one of my roomie's.

Urgh.

Back to work now.

I met this person today at the AIV large group. Well, I've seen her around and always thought I would be able to get along with her well. But yeah, today finally talked to her. Apparently, we look alike because Grace from OCC got us mixed up. We actually dressed pretty much the same too.

But yeah, she's awesome. It's kinda scary how much we are similar in interests. And we follow like the same train of thought. She is/was a psych major and loves writing and acting. And...I finally found a good person to throw my plays at. She said she actually got goosebumps from my monologue and can give me tips on how it would end up if the scene was acted and how to change it. Ideas are awesome!

So like, whoo! I'm finally meeting people outside of my usual group besides roommate friends.

Oh yeah, on Wednesday, went to this Japanese cafe which a friend from Jap class works at. It's very Japanese, owned by this really cuute (in a teddy bear kind've way) chef guy. I feel slightly bad for him, he gets bullied so much. Actually turned red in embarrassment when Kiki gave him her cookie. Probably go there with parents tomorrow. They serve really good (and expensive) Japanese tea.

And I'm finally getting the hang of dramas!

I got so focused on my revision for my two duude scene that I ended up leaving for my Jap lecture late-ish. On the way there, like, in front of the building, I saw this old Chinese duude wearing this really nice business suit. He looked like one of those crazy martial artists--white mustache and everything with like crazy wisdom written on his forehead in bright neon lights. Like I got the feeling that he was really wise and all-knowing. I passed him as I crossed the streets. Made eye-contact. He said, in a very heavy accent:

Wise old Chinese man: Hurry up.
firecaw: ~nods, acknowledging him, and walks away~

I didn't think I was that late. Gave myself ten minutes to walk there. I got this really nice watch from Taiwan so I wear it everyday, but this afternoon I forgot it so I wasn't sure of the time. Sure enough, I get to class just as Sensei is passing out the quiz.

Needless to say, I was suitably weirded out. I stayed up really late finishing the first season of Kaleido Star (omgosh Layla! ~fangirls~) and had to wake up early for a class. Was really tired. Now, the whole thing feels so dreamlike.

Hehe. It sounds like a really bad beginning of a manga or something. It would make a cool intro to a story. Hmm...maybe I should do something with it. ^__^

RARGH. I can't write a monologue! It's...just...too hard for me. It's all talking! I can't write dialogue; it always seems so awkward! Maybe because it is me, but they SPEAK funny. I always count on the mood/tone/actions/setting/everything except speaking parts to set up mah story. And I don't know what to do with the prompts andand... ~sighs~ This first half of the semester is all drama. Dunno how I'm going to get through it. Ah well, medicine always tastes bitter and stuff.

Today was just freaking insane I don't ever, ever want to do that again. It started out all perfect and all--I spent yesterday making sure I knew my way to my classes and had time to get to them. 8:30-10:00 Creative Writing went well. In fact, I think I'm going to like that class a whole lot. For one, there is no poetry! Whoo! And the teacher ish interesting. My Bio class was a discussion so it was nothing. And then I went back to my dorm and the nightmare started.


( tale of woe and both mental and physical exhaustion )

And because I'm bored (and don't want to read all my history stuff), stole a quiz from direharbinger.

( quiz thing )

Whoo! My dorm is so awesome! Not only am I in SQ, but in a Triple Apartment! ~grins~

My roommates are pretty cool. I think I'll be able to get along with them. Both are the quiet type and quite easy-going. If anything, I'll be the wildest one. Heh. Well, we certainly won't be stepping on each other's feet seeing how we have so much room. It's insane. Two rooms...one for the bed and wardrobe and the other for the desks and there is still so much space left over. @___@ I don't know how I'm going to make it next year after being used to this place. SQ's food is supposedly the second best on campus so...yeah. Though I have to get used to American food after eating Chinese everyday.

Just as a self-reminder, have to take the Jap proficiency test thing on Sept 3. >.< That's a day before classes start so do I just swap classes or...maybe I should've just signed up for a class instead of Bio. Rargh.

On a side note, I have decided to name my laptop Limi. Which is short for Limit, seeing how she limits my computer time because she freezes every-so often.