what the heck am I doing?
I am a stupid idiot. It was already 2:50AM in the morning, but I got struck by random burst of inspiration I decided to write a drabble. It just kept getting longer until, yeah. It's unfinished because I can't see the screen any more because my eyes are almost completely shut and the screen is all blurry signifying I need sleep.
I'll probably be horrified at this MH, Shizuru-centered fic when I can actually think.
Some things are never how they're supposed to be.
She wondered and contemplated that thought often. It would usually be late into the afternoon and the beginning of evening when such introspection struck. She would be in the Student Council room, at her desk, staring out at the empty chairs and tables that all seem tilted at her, towards her as the center. She would be drinking her last cup of tea and waiting for her laptop to shut down. Everyone else--those people who once occupied those chairs had left, leaving behind those invisible specters fixated at her in their unending scrutiny...as if she was before a jury. Knowing that something wasn't quite right, these were moments she felt the most self-conscious: even though she was sitting there in almost perfect silence, she was at the same time moving with breakneck speed, hurdling towards a future that seemed to become ever-so beyond her reach and understanding.
Her teacup hit the table with a definite clang, purposely too. The sound seemed to echo like a clamor within the deathly silent room. She reached forward and closed the lid on the school laptop. It clicked shut with a certain sense of finality, one that she did not feel. She turned to the side, eyes lingering not towards the closed window, but to the side of her desk where a middle school girl once sat at the edge. She had come after the meeting, as everyone else filtered out and just sat there, staring out of the window. Shizuru had not wanted to break the blue-haired girl's concentration so she, as the characters in her name foretold, stayed silent. She would be lying to say that she was uncomfortable with that silence as it was one she was familiar with. After minutes had slowly trickled by as Kuga Natsuki stared out into the window, lost in her thoughts, and as she tried to discreetly watch her without trying to look like she was staring at her, the younger girl gave her a small smile and a quiet thanks and left, leaving her in her current state.
Her current state. What and odd one it was. Since meeting Natsuki, she began to barely recognize the changes within herself. She had been perfectly content to stay in the background, have a peaceful, if slightly lonely high school life before going into one of the major universities in Japan without any trouble. However that had soon changed, obviously, seeing where she was sitting now and the position she now assumed. It was almost unheard of to have a first-year student as the seitokaichou; however, the decision had been near unanimous. Suddenly she had far more duties and obligations that she cared to have, though she oddly did not mind.
It wasn't that she wasn't capable of such a position. Oh no, it wasn't that. Rather she never expected she would give herself unnecessary burdens. She took everything on with a smiling, giggling expression for that mask was the most effective. She had always been the perceptive sort and had quickly learned the best ways to manipulate. She always got her way and took pride in her efficiency in getting it. In truth, she had been a little bored of it and the power that her status gave her. That made her even more aloof and jaded.
When she went back to visit her family in Kyoto, her parents had be startled by her change. Suddenly that frighteningly pleasant facade seemed to slide off and, once and a while, her smile would become genuine. Especially when talking about a certain girl, the new friend she had made. How surprised was her shrewd, but kind father and her strict, well-meaning mother. It wasn’t so much that she was
--Shizuru was forced into coming to FG, both she and parents against it, only because Mashiro/Fumi deftly persuaded.
--add something about feelings
--bereavement, dazed wonder and indescribably emotion, one unsettling for it is so.
--go on and on about the feeling, try to crescendo it up to the point where she realizes why she had undergone such a definite change.
--of looooooooooooove
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vinforspi) wrote,
sleepy
