D5: OMAKE
Cuz like...I was looking D5 over and figured it was too depressing. And thus this spawn of fireclaw's sillyness appeared. Makes utterly no sense...actually it kinda does, but whatever.
Yeah, weirdest thing happened yesterday night. Like, I got my wisdom teeth pulled out a little more than a week ago. So like, when I felt something stuck in my upper right jaw's gum where the wisdom tooth once sat, I figured it was just food again. Oatmeal has those really annoying brown-ish skin things right? Before I had two of them stuck in my upper gum...took three hours of pull at it to get it out--so annoying. Anyway so I kept pulling at that thing stuck in my upper jaw's gum. Turned out it was a remnant of my tooth...o_O Gum was bleeding any everything. Urgh.
Neways, here lies the parody of D5.
D5:OMAKE!
Otherwise Means Attack Kuga Energetically!
(Because all good Sunrise acronyms deserve more. >.< )
When Kuga Natsuki entered the room she did not expect to see Shizuru on the floor sobbing her heart out. Yasuo gave her an odd glance before he ran out of the room mumbling curses under his breath in heavy Kansai-ben.
“Shizuru?” Natsuki asked cautiously, wondering what this was about.
Suddenly! Shizuru’s head whipped up, her eyes shot up to and through the heavens, parting the sky, moon, stars, pies, cherry pies, disgusting broccoli and cheese soup, the Red Sea…and Shizuru gasped!
“Natsuki!” She cried out before she crawled towards the other on her knees, positively wrinkling her pretty business suit.
If Natsuki wasn’t the complete badass biker lady-girl person she was, she would’ve fainted on the spot. Surely this wasn’t the same universe! After all, didn’t she, weeks ago, see Shizuru leave her with the expression of a kicked puppy on her face? What was happening?
No idea.
“Um…Shizuru?” She asked carefully not wanting to upset the other woman even further.
Shizuru started sniffling and crawled closer to where Natsuki stood before latching onto the other woman’s legs and wailing. “What’s wrong with me, Natsuki? Why can’t I do anything correctly?”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
Sniffle. “I seem to drive everyone away. EVERYONE away. I’m sorry—sorry NATSUKI!” She started to sob. “It’s all my fault. Do you think I’m too forward? Am I too forward? Kami-sama, I am too forward, am I? I’m sorry Natsuki!”
“Um…Shizuru? Are you drunk?”
There was a pause and Shizuru looked up with teary (but sober) eyes. “Do I look like I’m drunk? Do I look like I’m DRUNK, NATSUKI?” She continued sobbing. “No, I am plagued by the thousands heartaches that tear me apart. I shall, in the bleak winter of my heart, wither and die. I know now that I will die alone. ALONE without anyone around me! I will be in my grave and no one will be at my funeral because I am a terrible person.”
“T-That’s not true. I’ll be at your funeral?”
This statement caused Shizuru to burst out into another wave of fresh tears. “ALONE ALONE ALONE!!” She wailed like a professional wailer. “I will become an old, angry business woman whose only pleasures are crushing all oppositions and drinking gyokuro…warm, comforting gyokuro on a relaxing summer…ALONE!” She cried again for good measure.
“A-ah…Shizuru. Getoff me. I can’t breathe.” Natsuki started to wave her arms around trying to balance herself as the beautiful golden brown haired woman leeched her way to her waist.
“Oh, Natsuki, what am I going to do? What did I do to you? I’m…so, so, so sorry. Kannin na, Natsuki I will never ever everevereverever leave you again. I will never let go!”
“Shi…zu…ru….let…me go. I can’t…breathe.” Natsuki gasped as her waist was crushed under the other’s surprisingly powerful grip. And then, when Shizuru shifted her weight, Natsuki came crashing painfully onto the ground. It was around the mere seconds of her descent that Natsuki noticed how the office was in complete disarray. Papers were all over the floor, chairs overturned, a window opened causing even more papers to boldly stream through the air like a flag or perhaps a kite. Natsuki trembled; panicked; hyperventilated. Oh what could she do? She had to wake up somehow.
“Natsuki?” Shizuru stopped for a moment, wondering what possessed Natsuki beat her pretty blue head onto the carpeted floor.
“Need. To. Wake. Up. Now.” Natsuki grunted.
Shizuru stared at Natsuki for a moment before she resumed her previous action. Only now one of her hands was snaked across Natsuki’s neck, holding head in place. The other was wrapped around Natsuki’s torso while her head rested on the crook of the blue haired woman’s neck.
“See! I’m such a terrible person that I would cause Natsuki to believe that this world is a dream! That I would drive Natsuki to a point which she wants to kill herself! Oh what a wretched person I am, harboring these feelings! Woe is me! Upon me! …what was that Natsuki?”
“I CAME HERE TO SAY I’M SORRY SHIZURU! NOW GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!”
“Natsuki?” Shizuru looked up from her spiel.
“I CAME TO SAY I WAS SORRY SHIZURU! I DIDN’T MEAN TO DO WHATEVER I DID TO YOU.”
Shizuru paused before shifting upwards to look at the person she was once smothering. “Really?”
“YES!”
“Oh…alright then.” Shizuru promptly stood up and started to straighten her clothes.
“…what?”
“I said it was all right then, were you not listening?” Shizuru asked pleasantly with an unreadable smile on her face.
“W-what just happened?”
“Nothing. I was just waiting for you to confess your grievances. I expect something like what I have just performed in one week.” This was said as Shizuru began to clean the room with frightening efficiency.
“Wait…what?”
“It should be either formally typed and on my desk or acted out, preferably on a Sunday. One o’clock would be perfect. Other than that, I believe I am done with you for now, Kuga-san. I bid you farewell and I will see you soon to discuss other arrangements.” Shizuru continued placidly as she gently ushered the other out of her now spotless room.
Natsuki was speechless and remained speechless as she stared at the now closed door, wondering what exactly just transpired.
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vinforspi) wrote,
