Current mood:	content
Current music:	Madlax OST 1 ~Vanessa
Entry tags:	d5, delirium, fanfiction, mai hime, shiznats, writing

D5
To celebrate the return of my freedom (and because I don't feel like doing my math homework), fireclaw spent today finishing up D5. She's not happy with how it turned out. She wanted the chapter to be more dramatic, but she's content with it.

So here it is, the confrontation.



Manga Notes:
-So like, I think I already said that in the manga when Natsuki meets up with her evil!HiME! mother for the first time, she lost her powers. And Tate was there and Shizuru was also there. Shizuru got shot and then was forgotten while um...Natsuki kisses Tate saying something among the lines of: "even if you don't accept my feelings, I still care for you" or something utterly stupid like that. And because she was true to her feelings--Duran appeared as Duran Max Heart! ~dies~ Which basically is like Duran with a stupid cloak...kinda like the ones those knight horseys have. Hey that fits! Seeing how Duran became a one-shot pony.

Other stuff:
-insert disclaimer here-

“You’re not busy today.” Yasuo stated.

Shizuru looked up from the paper she was reading. “That would be correct,” she said evenly, “but you know that, Yasuo-senpai, seeing how you serve as my aide.”

This caused the other to laugh from where he sat. “I’m more like freeloader. I’m still getting paid by your father, only now all I have to do is watch you do my job better than I did it.”

“That is not true.”

Her modest comment caused Yasuo to roll his eyes. “Please. At least they remember your face. Then again, it isn’t hard to.” He said flirtatiously, winking at her.

“I thought we have gone over this before, senpai.”

“Thousands of times, Madame Soon-to-be-President, and you know full well that I say it with the humor of a caring older brother."

“Ara? Then I must thank you, oniisan.”

“You are very welcome.” The brown haired man stood up and moved towards the desk where Shizuru sat. “Besides, it positively warms my heart knowing that I’m training the future successor of the Fujino dynasty.”

He picked up a small paperweight from the desk and began to lightly toss it as he carefully chose his next words.

“I’ve never questioned your decisions or actions before, Shizuru-chan. Neither has your father. Both of us are pleased that you’ve come back to where you rightfully belong. We accept you with no strings attached.” He paused for a moment to turn and give her an affable smile.

“But you are working too hard. Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you make sure you have no free time. That isn’t like the girl I used to know at all. And so, I have taken it upon myself to remedy this terrible affliction that has befallen my cute Shizuru-chan.”

The burgundy eyed woman raised an inquisitive eyebrow, “And that would be…”

“I met one of your old fangirls yesterday. Seeing how you have worked so efficiently like I expected, I’ve arranged a meeting between you two. Hopefully—ah, there she is.” He said when he heard a hesitant knock on the door. “Excuse me for a moment.”

He moved toward the door and opened it. “Come in.”

“Excuse the interruption.” Natsuki said politely as she walked into the office.

*~*~*~

She wasn’t sure what she was expecting when she walked in, but Natsuki was sure that it wasn’t the look of shock on Shizuru’s face. The other woman’s face visibly paled—even she could see it from where she was standing, feet away from the other’s desk. Shizuru’s eyes widened in surprise and then quickly became unreadable, shielded by years of training.

There she was, the woman that had consumed her thoughts for weeks. There she stood as stiff as a dead body. She looked the same: it wasn’t like she could physically change in a few weeks. Her hair was twisted into a simple knot over her head, stylish and practical, and she was dressed in a business suit. Oddly enough, it was the same as the one she had wore on television. It was obvious that Shizuru wasn’t expecting her; the only thing the woman could do was to stare at her.

All Natsuki could do was stare back, her words frozen in her mouth. She had been thinking about what to say since she accidentally put herself in this situation. Yet, now, she couldn’t remember anything she had practiced or thought of saying.

Here she stood in silence. There she sat in silence.

And then, Shizuru’s eyes narrowed, eyes darkening into a bloody red. She turned to look at a confused Yasuo. A single word fell harshly into the air, uttered in deadly solemnity:

“Leave.”

He quickly hid his confusion, unsure what exactly was transpiring, and left the room. The door barely made a sound as it closed.

Natsuki felt just as confused. She had never seen the other like this before. She summoned back her strength, her resolve to get this conversation over with. Her objective was unclear; she still wasn’t sure why she came. No, there wasn't anything else she could do.

“Shizuru...”

Shizuru’s eyes narrowed dangerously even more and a frown was evident on her face. “You shouldn’t be here, Natsuki.” She said, no…she stated.

“I wanted to see you.”

She watched as Shizuru posture became even more rigid as if she was containing all her emotions in, straining to keep them in control. The silence was nearly tangible, palpable. The ticking of the clock behind her seem to boom in her ears along with the beating of her heart.

“Why are you here?” Shizuru asked coldly.

“Am I not allowed to see you?” Even though she was a person that was never nervous, Natsuki was beginning to feel so. This atmosphere, something about if felt wrong. It was a convoluting mist of hostility.

The golden browned haired woman abruptly stood up. Pens and papers fell forgotten on the floor. “Why are you here?” She repeated. Even though her voice was strained, Natsuki couldn’t detect the emotion in those words. She could only feel how tense, how tight those words were uttered from the usually relaxed woman.

“Shizuru?”

Natsuki realized that wasn’t the best reply as Shizuru’s palms landed on her desk, resounding as hands met wood. And then there was anger.

“Do you think this is amusing to you, Kuga-san, coming here?” She said, her voice dangerously soft—a knife upon the velvet, accentuated by a thick accent.

Natsuki instinctively bristled. “What’s wrong with you?” she asked, becoming irritated.

“You’re asking what is wrong with me?” Shizuru spat out angrily. “When here you are, in front of me as if you had the right—

“You mean I have to have a right to come before you?” Natsuki interrupted. “Who do—

“Natsuki, you don’t have the right to come barging into my life. You think I’m just going to placidly come back to you so you can just continue on with your life as if nothing happened? That you didn’t, for years, just throw me to a side? Do you think I haven’t tried to stay with you, doing everything I could to make you happy?

“I’ve—

“I’ve tried, tried everything. It hurt me to leave you, but it hurts even more to stay with you as you continued to act as if we’re still in high school.” She said bitterly. “Every single day I though that it would be different, maybe once she will actually see me. Maybe one day she will accept my love for what it is.”

Shizuru’s head snapped back up, staring at her with righteous anger burning in her wine colored eyes. “No! All you did was turn away, always staring at something—someone else. You would always be too busy chasing your dreams to look back to where I waited for you! I was never good enough for you!”

“That’s no true. I—

“I realize it now. I should’ve known back in high school that this would happen. I should’ve of known ever since that day when your mother came back that it would always happen. I would give my life for you just so that you can go on living your little fantasy! And yet—do you know how it felt to see you kissing him while I lay bleeding on the floor? You might as well kill me, Natsuki!”

Shizuru had brought herself into a frenzied state. She was screaming now, furious tears lay unshed in her eyes. Natsuki had never seen her so angry.

And Shizuru wasn’t finished with her spiel.

“Do you know how hard I worked trying to help, protect you? Who do you think was supporting you all those years, making sure you didn’t kill yourself or get thrown in jail? And what do I get? I thought I finally had you…but I was wrong. Every single time you kiss me, you destroy me. I’m…I’m not the one you think of. I’m…not the one.”

Shizuru seemed to finally regained control of herself. Her voice had softened and her words were only despondent. Pain and longing were still evident in her eyes, but even more dominant was the emotion of sad resignation.

If time suddenly stopped, intransigent in a vibrant, picturesque standstill, there she would be standing with her perfect posture, surrounded in an aura of melancholy, despondency. There her eyes, cast down, would burn in a forever looping time with only the expression of a passion lost, harbored in vain. Wounds were open, raw, flowing from those eyes that seemed to bleed everything she had slowly accumulated through years. There she would stand, a proud grieving woman. Yet time continued on.

“It no longer matters. I finally wash my hands of you...Natsuki.” She whispered softly.

She had no idea what to say or do. Emerald greens were soft, inquisitive, trying to understand…but she felt short, not quite understanding what just transpired. She too stood there, only her posture seemed to be caught in mid-run: knees bent, hands open; like she was trying to catch up with something. She straightened slowly, her eyes never left the other woman’s despite Shizuru’s efforts to not look at her.

“Shizuru…” She too whispered, hesitantly. She heard her own voice crack slightly but there were no tears in her eyes. She couldn’t bring them.

“Please leave me, Natsuki.” The other woman begged her, her eyes finally meeting hers. Natsuki couldn’t take the scrutiny and she looked down.

“I…”

“Don’t say anything. Just leave.”

Silence took reign again as she closed her eyes. It was here that the moment had passed by. It was here where her chance to regain everything she had lost laid. It was here that her second chance stood. But she had not taken it—her. She had been blown off course by the very person she sought. It didn’t matter now, everything didn’t matter. There was nothing she could do. Not at this moment.

“Alright.” There was a bit of sadness in her voice, but there was also a sense of detachment. Like she wasn’t really there; she was watching the scene transpire from the view of an onlooker. She could not bring herself to feel.

So she turned around and opened the door, bypassing Yasuo who stood protectively like an eerie gargoyle in his gray business suit. She knew by instinct she would not be followed. When reaching the floor’s elevator, her gaze was cast down. Natsuki wasn’t thinking.

When the elevator doors shut with finality and began its descent, only then did Yasuo look back into the office. There Shizuru stood, facing the outside, a single hand pressed on the glass wall. From the angle he stood, he could not determine her features. Slowly, his eyes closed in his own resignation before he quietly slid out of the room and soundlessly shut the door behind him.

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