Um, WARNING, fireclaw ranting ahead on fic. Don't read unless...you're really bored? Want to see what goes on in fireclaw's head? Has death wish? @__@ Anyway:

Been playing around with the concept of D10 and shoot, I haven't really changed the plot or the major outline I had for the chapter from the beginning, but by writing it how I'm going to--or plan on doing--I'm going to have to change the framework of the entire story. The very least I'm going to have to do is change major plot points. Because the more I look at it now, the more I see how weak some of the areas are and that somehow major themes didn't get highlighted and...while I still very much like the idea of the ghost-lady duude in fic and she'll remain...I feel like she shouldn't be a true entity, but rather something more corporeal. Because, at the center of the fic, is basically the relationship between Shizuru and Natsuki. Having a true third party member--one whose execution is personally lacking and the more and more I go back to it, I hate the closure. Rather, instead, perhaps by turning character into a figment of imagination--something created from a hallucination and somewhat of an imaginary demon would allow me to transcribe certain scenes and make it at least more subtle...broaching the level of reality with, I guess you could call it imagination but that with a more negative connotation. This subject interests me a lot and I want to play in this realm more. This means probably I'm going to be adding a couple chapters after D7 and reworking everything that comes after that.

Of course, that brings me to question myself--what the heck am I writing now? This is going to end up perhaps way, waay deeper than I first imagined it to be and it's making me slightly nervous. The more and more I play around with the story, the more there's this...this duality to it that I barely begun to address in the current format. Both characters are waay too strong and, I think by nature of the characters calls for each of them to be addressed otherwise one of them is going to end up oversimplified. Yeah, that's a major problem that I've already somewhat instinctively realized when I chose to switch POVs in D5. Even though is mostly--or currently is--Natsuki's story, Shizuru's is also pivotal and I don't think I'm giving her enough credit. Her starting motivation is obviously clear but then while her thought process becoming muddled is a major point...but it doesn't really unify with everything.

And, urgh, Shizuru. I think I realize why I liked her so much--she's so absolutely difficult to understand. Or, at least, my concept of her which has recently been undergoing development ever since I came back from going to Japan and actually seeing Kyoto for myself. Like, I don't know, a lot of her character does stem from the city itself--I mean, at least for the English-speaking fans, her Kyoto-ben is like a fixation. And Kyoto is much less developed than I once thought it was, I mean, I did do enough internet research to try to get a gist of it...but like actually being there changes a lot. The separation of old and the new is far less drastic than I once thought and well, now, even though she still really "pristine ojou-sama"-ish, it's also rather--what's a good English equivalent--countryside-ish? So like, not so much a big change in character per say, as much as it is her roots. Probably less money, more--I don't know...prestige? Crazy family line that dates back to Edo, stemming from mother's side? I don't know...wiki-ing Fujino gets quite a variety of people. I'm still not too sure how much of this affects my perception but it has been altered. @__@

This sucks. I probably should've wrote this faster and over a shorter period of time. That and all I've really been doing lately is reading every modern writer's short story collections and it's making me think more and more on style and content among other things. I mean, before I just read classics. Curses stupid creative writing class that STILL coming to haunt me. Curse myself for not being able to write a simple stupid fanfiction. I can't even get that right and instead am getting to touch upon, like, real aspects of a novel. Like I've learned the hard way--fanfiction doesn't even begin to compare to real fiction. So basically, I should just stick to one-shots so I don't make things too complicated and hard on myself although I'm killing myself with the whole concept of time travel in my outlines for that Simoun fic. Time travel = never makes sense and is a giant headache. Anyway, I don't think any of these things really will matter too much when writing D10. Guess I'll just keep writing it as I have been and once the damage has been done, rework it.

RARGH, don't mind me, just thinking out loud.